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As a decadent, Western hegemonising spawn of the great Satan, I'm often asked: "Have you had enough, effendi, are you quaking in terror? Do you give up?"
Well, here we go again. A bunch of swivel-eyed whackos (pretty much indistuingishable in methods, motivation and ideology from any other) have decided that I - and you - are a legitimate target.
Because of this international movement to undermine my way of life and reduce me to such quivering terror that I dare not leave the house, I was twenty minutes home from work on Friday. Twenty minutes! It's an outrage.
I'm just glad that these wannabe suicide attackers haven't figured out that the real way to bring London to a standstill is to jump in front of a Victoria or Circle Line train at rush hour. Then we'd all be more than an hour late home. You can imagine the conversation in Paradise now:
"I killed myself bombing London and the entire metropolis was crippled with terror for almost twenty-five minutes!"
"That is nothing. I hopped in front of the Northern Line and nobody could get home until almost eight o'clock. Pass me another virgin, would you?"
And then a day later they try suicide bombing Glasgow. Glasgow! I mean, if they're looking for seventy-two virgins, what the hell were they doing there?
Well, here we go again. A bunch of swivel-eyed whackos (pretty much indistuingishable in methods, motivation and ideology from any other) have decided that I - and you - are a legitimate target.
Because of this international movement to undermine my way of life and reduce me to such quivering terror that I dare not leave the house, I was twenty minutes home from work on Friday. Twenty minutes! It's an outrage.
I'm just glad that these wannabe suicide attackers haven't figured out that the real way to bring London to a standstill is to jump in front of a Victoria or Circle Line train at rush hour. Then we'd all be more than an hour late home. You can imagine the conversation in Paradise now:
"I killed myself bombing London and the entire metropolis was crippled with terror for almost twenty-five minutes!"
"That is nothing. I hopped in front of the Northern Line and nobody could get home until almost eight o'clock. Pass me another virgin, would you?"
And then a day later they try suicide bombing Glasgow. Glasgow! I mean, if they're looking for seventy-two virgins, what the hell were they doing there?
