Flawless Victory

[davywavy]

Sometimes, in moments of hubris, I start thinking I'm getting quite good at this being a Ninja lark. I've been training pretty solidly for four years and I get to thinking that were I, say, to happen across a ne'er-do-well roughing up a nun on the way home I'd be able to give a good accounting of myself before sending them on their way suitably chastened.
I only think this sometimes, obviously. At other times, I watch ninja master perform some outrageous move like dropping into a legsweep and following it up with a tornado kick and a dragon kick in one smooth movement and with no apparent sign of effort.
At those times, what I'm thinking is: "Just who the hell do I think I'm kidding?"

Comments

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Just make sure you never break his record.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

There's a precedent for him breaking me if I do.

^{Does everyone know the dialogue for that film?}

[jonnyargles.livejournal.com]

Stand in front of him on one leg with your arms above your head.

He'll never guess what you're about to do.

[twicedead.livejournal.com]

Does everyone know the dialogue for that film?

It comes with the Y chromosone.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

...i don't even know what film you talk of.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

What!?!?
You're no man.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

*hangs head*

Its true.

Whats the film?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Bloodsport, starring Jean-Claude van Damme.

[christ1974.livejournal.com]

Ooooh we like that one he looks well fit in that one!

not as good as the one with twins where he gets naked of course...

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

Ahh right, i have seen that one.

[gwaunquest.livejournal.com]

damm.I thought it was krate kid:p
Self image is all important- thats why I've had all the mirrors removed from my house.

[christ1974.livejournal.com]

If you were a small as some of the Kung Fu masters I'm sure you'd be able to do such moves.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Ah, well. With any luck I'll be Marc in my next life.

[christ1974.livejournal.com]

*Chuckle*

[(Anonymous)]

I don't see why not. You have a physique similar to Sammo Hung, and he's pretty nimble. Maybe you need more Nae Gong training. I'll get the frozen peas.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Chiz.

[kcontheroad.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way. I've been doing tae kwan do for four years now, too, and I would never have thought when I started out that I could do some of the things that I do. Like you, I am fairly certain I would seriously damage some one if I had to use it, but I know that I'm really just a journeyman at it. I test for my black belt July 22. That's when the 'fun' really begins.

Minimal requirements for our testing:

100 each jumping jacks, push-ups on our knuckles, crunches, axe kicks, round house kicks, side kicks, snap kicks

100 round house kicks without putting the foot down, each leg.

One minute standing in round house kick position, each leg.

Three katas, plus one weapons kata (I do the bo.)

Breaks: reverse punch, knife hand strike, fore arm strike, jump straight back kick, hook kick

Produce the sparring combinations for the last three belt levels recalled just by colour and number, i.e,. Brown Senior 3 means I need to do step ahead, 180 spin, round, straight back, tornado.

Then, of course, there's the sparring. . . . it starts out one on one. Then two on one. . . then three. The stated purpose is to exhaust you against fresh fighters and see how you do.

The testing takes place over the course of two days and altogether takes about 12 hours. I'm going to die. The good news is that he doesn't call people to test for black if he doesn't think they're ready. I can do all these things, but doing them all for hours straight is going to be a killer.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Well, having played around with this for the last few days I can say, without fear of contradiction, that I could not become a Tae Kwon Do black belt.

[kcontheroad.livejournal.com]

I didn't think I could, either, when I started. Really. To look at me, you'd never ever think I could do these things.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Well, for a lot of the stuff on the list I'm assuming it means "Without stoppping"; I probably wouldn't do that badly if I could occasionally go: *Stops* "One monent" *deep breath* "okay" *Starts again*.
I can't do more than 50-60 pushups, and the 100 roundhouse kicks without putting my foot down is beyond me. I've not done any board breaking in ten years so that's probably beyond me now, too. Of all of that, I'd probably find the sparring easiest, because I do a lot of sparring.
Overall, though, I reckon I could do maybe 75% of that list, which I'm not too peeved about