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[personal profile] davywavy
Many years ago now, I did a psychology degree and ended up with as a certified practitioner by the British Psychological Association. I'm still not entirely sure what this qualifies me to do, but I've always sort of hoped that brain surgery was included in there somewhere.
Possibly the most enjoyable (from a purely humour perspective) module of my degree was the section on psychosexual dysfunction, i.e. those sexual problems where the body works just fine, but something in the mind just keeps getting in the way. This was ribald entertainment for the unafflicted and no mistake.

I was reminded of this the other week when I mentioned, in passing, that shouting "By the power of Greyskull!" when getting frisky with someone is unlikely to be well recieved. Chatting to someone later, they told me the story of a man (it had to be, really) who could not help but shout "GOAL!!" upon ejaculation. Perhaps more astonishingly, he had a long-term girlfriend who put up with this without the aid of earplugs. The thing about makin' whoopee is that it short-circuits the brain and the things people say can be revealing, amusing, or just plain downright terrifying.
I'm sure people shout some wierd stuff during lovemaking, but that's not what I'm interested in today. I'm interested in what you, dear reader, would least like to hear someone shout whilst getting it on. "We wantsss it, my preciouss, yes, we does. Let us touch it.", perhaps? Or how about "I'm so sorry, mummy!"? How about "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!".

So what do you reckon?

Date: 2007-04-24 09:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] breekom.livejournal.com
thank you is always quite off putting.

as in, 'thank you'.

Date: 2007-04-24 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raggedhalo.livejournal.com
You should never say thank you for sex, unless you're paying for it. Then it's only polite.

Date: 2007-04-24 10:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Nonsense! Girls love pathetic, fawning gratitude and comments like "I don't do this much, could you tell?"

Date: 2007-04-24 10:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raggedhalo.livejournal.com
I bow to your superior experience of such things...*grin*

Date: 2007-04-24 10:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I explains my success with the laydeez.
That and my manly physique, obvoiusly.

Date: 2007-04-24 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-mendicant.livejournal.com
Oh dear god, please tell me that blokes not surfin for sex!

Date: 2007-04-25 08:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
You know those men on dating sites? They all look like him. Every one of 'em.

Date: 2007-04-24 11:02 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
but men are always so gutted when you respond 'yes I could tell actually'

Date: 2007-04-24 11:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tooth-fairy.livejournal.com
that was me.

Thought of another one;

'I always wondered what it would be like with a real woman...'

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