Bonekickers

[davywavy]

I may well be the only person in the country still watching this steaming pile of televisual crap, but did anyone else see last night's episode? is it just me, or was that one of the most intellectually offensive pieces of rubbish ever to appear on prine time television?
Off the top of my head, the only thing I can think of worse was Heil Honey, I'm home!.

[Poll #1236065]

Comments

[borusa.livejournal.com]

Heil Honey I'm Home didn't exactly appear on "prime time television", given that about six people could watch it.

I think you're thinking about Love Thy Neighbour.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

By Prime Time, I meant that peak-viewing evening slot which channels traditionally put what they consider to be their biggest draws into?

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

I'm saying "Yes" on the basis adding Ben Elton to anything is going to make it worse.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

That's my feeling as well; alas, last night's episode reminded me of the sort of witless bobbins that Elton is famous for spouting: "Well, who'dda thoughtit, eh, ladies and gentlemen, evil British prolong World War One bacuase they're having so much fun! Oooh, little bit of politics there!"

[elbly.livejournal.com]

Not having a television I feel unable to comment.

Is it truly that bad?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Thus far we have had:
1) The discovery that the True Cross was real and hidden in a shed in Shropshire.
2) The discovery of some Babylonian pottery (near bristol) that brought peace to Iraq.
3) The discovery that Boadacea was in love with a Roman general and it was hushed up.
4) The discovery that a band of escaped American slaves lived out peaceful, happy lives on an island in the Bristol channel *without anyone noticing*.
5) The discovery that in 1917, some evil British Officers murdered a band of french and germans who were trying to negotiate a peace treaty in order to prolong the first world war.

Those descriptions make the series sound better than it is.

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

I am *so* glad I watched Hellboy II at the cinema last night because that was awesome...

[(Anonymous)]

Queen Victoria was a man? HMS Victory utilised secret alien technology? Pre-cambrian rabbit fossils found in Richard Dawkins' back garden?

H

Ooh, I thought of another one

[(Anonymous)]

Holy Grail hidden under the Louvre

H

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

The Catholic Chruch has been covering up the descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdelene.

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[(Anonymous)]

We are also hiding Judas' version of the Gospels, 'cos it has a happy ending.

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

What, happier than the resurrection of the dead and the life eternal in bliss?
That must be a pretty darn cheerful ending is all I can say.

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

In your version- do they sing and dance?

Thought not

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Tsk! There's always singing and dancing going on in my head!

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry, meant it had a happy ending for Mr Dawkins.

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

What, he sees the light and joins the Anglican Community? I can see why the bead-jugglers would like to keep that quiet, yes.

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[(Anonymous)]

now you are just being wilful

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I dunno, it seems like the happiest ending he's likely to get?

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[(Anonymous)]

Nah, smug git would be so chuffed to know he is right....can you imagine his embarrassment at being told "sorry mate, it's eternal bliss"?

Re: Ooh, I thought of another one

[(Anonymous)]

More Bollywood movies, eh?

[elbly.livejournal.com]

Hmm - won't be rushing out to buy a TV just yet then.

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

i now have an overriding urge to watch this on the BBC I-Player...

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

1:45 - no one builds a hypermarket in the middle of nowhere
2:30 - archaeologists don't just start randomly digging
5:40 - The correct procedure when finding a possible explosive device is not to get one of the archaeologists to wrap themselves in a tin can and poke it a bit
6:20 - zomg, a bunch of skeletons from WW1, time for a sombre wigout and comparison to historical genocides.
7:30 - NOOOOO!!! one of the skeletons looks a little bit funny and is slightly broken up!!! PANIC!!!
8:10 - their British cause they found traces of Marmite
8:45 - oooh, tension with the French archaeologist. Lets square off like we're in NYPD Blue
9:35 - "This is My Dig Site" fuck me, it is NYPD Blue
11:15 - gosh, i never knew war was a bad thing before. thanks for the enlightenment
12:05 - "its a botched cover up", time to throw in some light racism
14:00 - "This is my crime scene, you don't like it you take it up with the lieutenant" Least that's what everything other than the dialogue said
15:15 - "history is a big puzzle" and in 5 years time historians are going to be looking at this going 'why lord?'

right, can't take anymore. Off to do something more fun, think I've got some bleach to drink.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

But you only watched the good bit - it gets so, so much worse as it goes on.
I actually hope that the scriptwriters find themselves in a pub with some drunk squaddies at some point, as they will recieve a much-deserved kicking.

[raggedyman.livejournal.com]

Argh! It burns!
That truly is utterly fucking terrible, how the hell did they get money for it?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

It's by the same people who wrote Life on Mars, and presumably the BBC were hoping for another hit on the same magnitude.

Except they reckoned without the phrase "one hit wonders"

[mrmmarc.livejournal.com]

Well... its up there with the QUALITY of Robin Hood- I mean thats awesome British entertainment...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're right, the new RH was similarly abominable.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_grimtales_/]

It's a measure of how bad it is that I was so taken by the marked improvement (relatively speaking of course) in acting and scripting that I didn't even really notice the plot this episode.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

I didn't watch the last two episodes (I don't have a TV, so I only see it when I'm at the She-David's pad), but I remember the reviews last week I the paper specifically recommending that people should not watch it.

[sea-cucumber.livejournal.com]

I think it's brilliant! :D :D
I like not having to use my brain when watching television!

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

But...but...but... don't you get the red mist when watching it, like I do?
How can you disengage your brain?

[rssefuirosu.livejournal.com]

I believe you have finally understood how we feel about your approach to cinema :p

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Hey, I get the red mist in cinemas the same as anyone: http://davywavy.livejournal.com/269101.html

[vulgarcriminal.livejournal.com]

SiL, who is an archeaologist and hates Time Team, told me the red mist would fall.

[ditzy-pole.livejournal.com]

How can you even say that?! Didn't you say to me the other day that you hate having to think when watching anything visual?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Yes, but I draw the line at people actively insulting me in their broadcasts. It's like I odn't much care what food tastes like so long as there's lots of it, but I'd still object if someone pooed in my black forest gateaux.

[(Anonymous)]

That's news to me

H

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'd object if I *knew* someone had pooed in my dessert.

[ditzy-pole.livejournal.com]

I guess you shan't be dating the babyfur I introduced you to...

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nope, he's all yours.

[ditzy-pole.livejournal.com]

It was a 'he'?! I was convinced it was a 'she'!

[ddraiggwyrdd.livejournal.com]

I'm watching because I thought it is suposed to be a comedy.
It's the hunt for the sword excalibur thats baffling me. I happen to know a lot because I tried to pitch an Indiana Jones film to Spielberg based on the hunt for said sword. Of course my manuscript was returned unread - they said.

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Bonekickers has the credibility of Indiana Jones and the acting ability of Time Team.
If it were the other way around, it would be worth watching.