davywavy: (Default)
[personal profile] davywavy
Why is it that some people are incapable of understanding that there is a difference between "Not listening" and "Not agreeing"?

Having recently been in an argument with someone, I have finally withdrawn from it when I realised that the person in qustion wasn't prepared to accept that I didn't agree with his point and the only possible reason that he hasn't won me over is that I'm not listening.

I find this POV surprisingly arrogant; to assume that your argument is so good that all who hear it shall be won over (so long as they listen) *is* arrogant, I'm sure. Perhaps alternatively it's an inability to understand that others see the world differently, or that your argument isn't that convincing, or that there may be a better way of doing things (in others eyes, anyway). In short, a point of view that differs from your own, and your own argument is of insufficient merit or strength to change that point of view as it does not hold up to counterargument.

Being disagreed with is a part of life - we all come to understand, as we grow, that sometimes others do not see the same world that we do. Sometimes, philosophical or personal reasons mean that we do not see eye to eye with others. I've always felt that in such a situation the best thing to do is understand that you aren't going to agree and either try to find an alternative solution, and try and work around the problem to acheive an acceptable solution. It saddens me that many people, rather than taking action to achieve what they want, would rather bitch because others refuse to take it for them.

Re:

Date: 2002-05-21 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eddyfate.livejournal.com
Ah, the "This is better, because *I* thought of it" argument?

Date: 2002-05-21 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Well, leaving aside the specifics...I prefer my version, and their version doesn't have any factors that make me think it's a better idea, it's just another idea. I've heard them out, and said "I've heard your argument, and I disagree with your reasoning, so lets try my way (i.e. the one that is already in place and being used) and if it doesn't work, we can always change it." I'm happy to be proven wrong, but I'd also like the apportunity for the proof to go either way before people resort to abuse :)

But I'm not listening, you see...

Re:

Date: 2002-05-21 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eddyfate.livejournal.com
You bastard! :-P

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