If only everyone were like me...
Oct. 10th, 2002 10:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davywavyA common cry when things go wrong is “Why can’t everyone be like me!” We’ve all said that some point. I was thinking about this this morning whilst getting ready for work, and wondering what would the world be like in 2002 if there world were inhabited by people who were like various people I know…
(Note: This is intended as humour, and no offence is intended to any picked on)
What if everyone if the world were like![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
davywavy?
Humanity is extinct. After a good start, in which fire and the gentlemen’s club were invented quickly, humanity starved to death as it emerged that everyone thought it was someone elses job to catch , kill, and cook lunch. An alien expedition arriving in 2005 will find a last, poignant message from a dying race scratched into the rocks: “Where…are all…the bloody…servants…”
What if everyone in the world were likehardwired?
Humanity has invented fire but so far has failed to invent the wooden club due to its inveterate ability to grasp the wrong end of the stick.
What if everyone in the world were likepuddingcat?
Humanity has not invented fire, but has discovered the chocolate éclair, nice shoes, and Harry Potter porn. The race considers itself to be living in a golden age.
What if everyone in the world were likequisalan?
Humanity has not invented fire, but has come up with the mirror. Half the human race spends its time admiring itself, whilst the other half spends its time admiring the first half.
What if everyone in the world were like grimjim ?
Humanity has invented fire but progressed no further. Every time anyone suggests an improvement to fire making techniques, things descend into arguments. “Fire! You know nothing about fire! I’ve been making fire since I was seven years old! Nobody makes fire like I do!”
The so-called ‘flame wars’ have lasted for millennia.
What if everyone in the world were likegreebotrill?
The world is ruled by red-haired Amazon women. Captain Kirks from numerous parallel dimensions are forming an orderly queue.
What if everyone in the world were likeraggedhalo?
Humanity has invented farming and really big drums. Although everyone gets a fair share of the farm produce, further technological development is inhibited by a tendency to drop anything and get down when someone starts a good beat.
What if everyone in the world were likevervain_?
Humanity invented fire and then progressed to the sauna and steam room. No further innovation is considered necessary.
Feel free to add your own.
(Note: This is intended as humour, and no offence is intended to any picked on)
What if everyone if the world were like
davywavy?Humanity is extinct. After a good start, in which fire and the gentlemen’s club were invented quickly, humanity starved to death as it emerged that everyone thought it was someone elses job to catch , kill, and cook lunch. An alien expedition arriving in 2005 will find a last, poignant message from a dying race scratched into the rocks: “Where…are all…the bloody…servants…”
What if everyone in the world were like
hardwired?Humanity has invented fire but so far has failed to invent the wooden club due to its inveterate ability to grasp the wrong end of the stick.
What if everyone in the world were like
puddingcat?Humanity has not invented fire, but has discovered the chocolate éclair, nice shoes, and Harry Potter porn. The race considers itself to be living in a golden age.
What if everyone in the world were like
quisalan?Humanity has not invented fire, but has come up with the mirror. Half the human race spends its time admiring itself, whilst the other half spends its time admiring the first half.
What if everyone in the world were like grimjim ?
Humanity has invented fire but progressed no further. Every time anyone suggests an improvement to fire making techniques, things descend into arguments. “Fire! You know nothing about fire! I’ve been making fire since I was seven years old! Nobody makes fire like I do!”
The so-called ‘flame wars’ have lasted for millennia.
What if everyone in the world were like
greebotrill?The world is ruled by red-haired Amazon women. Captain Kirks from numerous parallel dimensions are forming an orderly queue.
What if everyone in the world were like
raggedhalo?Humanity has invented farming and really big drums. Although everyone gets a fair share of the farm produce, further technological development is inhibited by a tendency to drop anything and get down when someone starts a good beat.
What if everyone in the world were like
vervain_?Humanity invented fire and then progressed to the sauna and steam room. No further innovation is considered necessary.
Feel free to add your own.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
ROFLMAO!!
no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 02:34 am (UTC)Robert
no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 02:36 am (UTC)It's always nice when I'm giggling to myself on the tube so much that other people let me have a seat all to myself.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 02:58 am (UTC)no subject
I should be flattered that you think I can keep a whole world amused :p
Krystyna
Ahem :p
Date: 2002-10-10 02:45 am (UTC)Re: Ahem :p
Date: 2002-10-10 06:11 am (UTC)and books, and more books....
no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 02:45 am (UTC)pander to my ego you fuck! ;-p
no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 02:57 am (UTC)If all the world were like...
All other people would have been extinct by mucking up martial arts moves ("I'll get it this time!"), playing with knives and hitting each other with sticks.
...
Re: If all the world were like...
But i can only agree, and ask if that would really be a bad thing...? ;)
no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 03:20 am (UTC)I want one!
Date: 2002-10-10 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 03:39 am (UTC)Ah. I now have a mental image of a race of hardwireds wearing oven gloves & aprons. Bad brain.
no subject
Date: 2002-10-10 03:53 am (UTC)go on.. do me!
Though I have some horrific ideas of what a world of mes would be like..
everyone would believe in magic and faeries and unicorns, while at the same time being rampant, flyffy, nymphomaniac egotists!
If I may
Date: 2002-10-10 03:58 am (UTC)People would not live in houses but in little cubicles consisting of an elaborate chair with a waste disposal unit under the seat, an IV sugar infusion unit for sustenance and a broadband terminal with Evercrack controls hardwired to the user's brain.
ROFLMAO
Date: 2002-10-10 05:29 am (UTC)Re: ROFLMAO
Date: 2002-10-10 05:40 am (UTC)Monty?
Date: 2002-10-10 12:02 pm (UTC)The race would die out for much the same reasons as
Meh...
Date: 2002-10-13 03:37 pm (UTC)Especially since I often use a sci-fi short story about the 'elders uninventful attitude and fear of the new' in arguing with people.
How about...
"Humanity has invented many things but discarded them all in the quest for something new and better. Resulting in there being no room to live or grow crops for all the discarded inventions."
G
Re: Meh...
Date: 2002-10-14 01:20 am (UTC)