If only everyone were like me...

[davywavy]

A common cry when things go wrong is “Why can’t everyone be like me!” We’ve all said that some point. I was thinking about this this morning whilst getting ready for work, and wondering what would the world be like in 2002 if there world were inhabited by people who were like various people I know…

(Note: This is intended as humour, and no offence is intended to any picked on)

What if everyone if the world were like davywavy?
Humanity is extinct. After a good start, in which fire and the gentlemen’s club were invented quickly, humanity starved to death as it emerged that everyone thought it was someone elses job to catch , kill, and cook lunch. An alien expedition arriving in 2005 will find a last, poignant message from a dying race scratched into the rocks: “Where…are all…the bloody…servants…”

What if everyone in the world were like hardwired?
Humanity has invented fire but so far has failed to invent the wooden club due to its inveterate ability to grasp the wrong end of the stick.

What if everyone in the world were like puddingcat?
Humanity has not invented fire, but has discovered the chocolate éclair, nice shoes, and Harry Potter porn. The race considers itself to be living in a golden age.

What if everyone in the world were like quisalan?
Humanity has not invented fire, but has come up with the mirror. Half the human race spends its time admiring itself, whilst the other half spends its time admiring the first half.

What if everyone in the world were like grimjim ?
Humanity has invented fire but progressed no further. Every time anyone suggests an improvement to fire making techniques, things descend into arguments. “Fire! You know nothing about fire! I’ve been making fire since I was seven years old! Nobody makes fire like I do!”
The so-called ‘flame wars’ have lasted for millennia.

What if everyone in the world were like greebotrill?
The world is ruled by red-haired Amazon women. Captain Kirks from numerous parallel dimensions are forming an orderly queue.

What if everyone in the world were like raggedhalo?
Humanity has invented farming and really big drums. Although everyone gets a fair share of the farm produce, further technological development is inhibited by a tendency to drop anything and get down when someone starts a good beat.

What if everyone in the world were like vervain_?
Humanity invented fire and then progressed to the sauna and steam room. No further innovation is considered necessary.

Feel free to add your own.

Comments

ROFLMAO!!

[karohemd.livejournal.com]

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