Christmas poetry
Dec. 22nd, 2009 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
davywavyI have to say, I think Anthrax' Starting up a posse would have been a better Christmas No. 1.
I was talking to a writer friend of mine last night, who, like many people, is unemployed this year. Predictably, the conversation came round to how this is going to affect his Christmas and what he's going to be doing for presents. "Ah", he told me. "My sister had a really nice idea. She knows I'm skint and so rather than buying her a present, she's asked me to write a poem about her this year".
Now, my immediate reaction to this was shock at the realisation that some people out there have families who aren't like mine and don't see a request like that to get busy with rhyme schemes involving "fat", twat", "rat" and "Seroxat". On the other hand, it struck me as really quite a sweet idea.
I used to be more poetic at this time of year; I wrote annual Christmas sagas like It's a Davyful life, The David before Christmas, and How the Chavs stole Christmas, but I haven't done anything like that in a while and it's time for that to change.
So, here goes. I'm not one of those people who says things like "I'm not buying presents this year - I'm making a donation to help crippled whales instead", or that sort of holier than thou nonsense. Screw the crippled whales - people want presents.
instead, if you'd like a present from me, tell me and I shall try and write a poem about you. I make no promise of success, but I'll give it a go*. It will help if a) I know you personally at least moderately well, and b) you have a name which rhymes with lots of things.
*Family not eligible.
I was talking to a writer friend of mine last night, who, like many people, is unemployed this year. Predictably, the conversation came round to how this is going to affect his Christmas and what he's going to be doing for presents. "Ah", he told me. "My sister had a really nice idea. She knows I'm skint and so rather than buying her a present, she's asked me to write a poem about her this year".
Now, my immediate reaction to this was shock at the realisation that some people out there have families who aren't like mine and don't see a request like that to get busy with rhyme schemes involving "fat", twat", "rat" and "Seroxat". On the other hand, it struck me as really quite a sweet idea.
I used to be more poetic at this time of year; I wrote annual Christmas sagas like It's a Davyful life, The David before Christmas, and How the Chavs stole Christmas, but I haven't done anything like that in a while and it's time for that to change.
So, here goes. I'm not one of those people who says things like "I'm not buying presents this year - I'm making a donation to help crippled whales instead", or that sort of holier than thou nonsense. Screw the crippled whales - people want presents.
instead, if you'd like a present from me, tell me and I shall try and write a poem about you. I make no promise of success, but I'll give it a go*. It will help if a) I know you personally at least moderately well, and b) you have a name which rhymes with lots of things.
*Family not eligible.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 10:46 am (UTC)H
no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 10:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 11:10 am (UTC)If you fancy it.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-15 12:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-15 12:47 pm (UTC)I'll have one please....
Date: 2009-12-22 11:18 am (UTC)Silent night, boozy night!
All the scotch, gone from sight.
Round the David the bottles piled high.
Empty tinnies of lager and mild.
Sleep in drunken peace,
Sleep in drunken peace.
Morning bright, painfully bright!
Dawn is here, hangover's not slight.
Cram down breakfast of coffee and egg.
Brain all melting, did I down that keg?
Dave's not drinking again.
Dave's not drinking again*.
* Until new year
Re: I'll have one please....
Date: 2009-12-22 11:22 am (UTC)Re: I'll have one please....
Date: 2009-12-22 11:28 am (UTC)just came to me
Date: 2009-12-23 11:42 am (UTC)Riding to the bar
Robinbloke, Robinbloke
Sinks another jar
We're all afraid
He'll have a stroke
Robinbloke
Robinbloke
Robinbloke
H
Re: just came to me
Date: 2009-12-23 12:08 pm (UTC)I feel I should be riding a
white chargerkeg! :)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 04:54 pm (UTC)Please don't be too horrid in it :p
no subject
Date: 2009-12-22 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-23 10:44 am (UTC)