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The front cover of this month's Cosmopolitan has a strapline of "Easy ways to change the shape of your bottom".
I'm willing to bet quite a lot of money that their article doesn't feature a single one of the methods that sprang to my mind when I read that.

To aleviate the boredom of this afternoon, I'm annoucing a competition. The person who comes up with the most imaginative way to change the shape of a bottom will win one of those legendary drinks that I'm forver promising and never buying.

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