Bottoms, and a competition

[davywavy]

The front cover of this month's Cosmopolitan has a strapline of "Easy ways to change the shape of your bottom".
I'm willing to bet quite a lot of money that their article doesn't feature a single one of the methods that sprang to my mind when I read that.

To aleviate the boredom of this afternoon, I'm annoucing a competition. The person who comes up with the most imaginative way to change the shape of a bottom will win one of those legendary drinks that I'm forver promising and never buying.

Comments

[vampwillow]

four pieces of wood, approx 4" x 12", placed - carefully - two each vertically either side of each buttock, held together in pairs compressing each buttock individually by extendable G-clamps.

[sherbetsaucers.livejournal.com]

The good old fashioned sitting on a wicker chair while nude.

[blue-cat.livejournal.com]

1] insert gromets at stragic points so you can link said gromets together and pull the buttocks upwards a bit like curtains. if you did this in the right places you could get a nice decorative effect.

2] fake it with tatto's but particularly around the curvature of your buttocks - perhaps a hand each side so you have the illusion of someone cuping each buttock cheek - this has the effect of darkening that area, making it appear to receed (same effect as slightly darker make up/foundation on the jowls of the face) and distracting the viewer from the actual lines of the buttock, hence providing the illusion/distraction of an alternate buttock shape.

3] the rest of my off the brain ideas were worthy of the zombie tag line and I shall leave them sulking in the sewers, aspiring to the gutter, where they belong.

[riksowden.livejournal.com]

simple - an electric carving knife...

[ex-boog351.livejournal.com]

Insert one of these at the correct angle

[robinbloke.livejournal.com]

Hot molten wax implants.

[wyrdness.livejournal.com]

There was the idea of chickenwire and string, but that was a terrifying thought. Much like all the rest of these...

[ex-boog351.livejournal.com]

One of these



and one set of these should also do the trick

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm...erotic.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a commission for the Nockers :)

I'll go for the "eating lots of cream buns whilst sat on the toilet, to avoid having to move any more than absolutely necessary" option, since you didn't state *shrinking* to be necessary :)

[raggedhalo.livejournal.com]

Make them use a festival toilet on the fourth day of it being in place. The buttocks will naturally assume any shape that will keep them as far away from the festering pit of evil below them.