Good morning, world.

[davywavy]

Well, it's getting towards the time when a fat, jolly man with a red nose and a loud suit does his one day of work for the the year.
That's right, I have to go into the office.

Bearing in mind that it'll soon be Christmas, why don't you clamber up on my knee and tell me what you want to find under the tree on Christmas morning?
I'll put in a good word with my old mate Santa and we'll see what we can do.

So...what would you like for Christmas this year?

Comments

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Who are your preferred alternatives? My elves and I will see what we can do (and not just for the purpose of salacious gossip, oh lordy me no).

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

Well I would like my own bedroom but if that is not an option I would prefer to share with some one who

a) doesn't snore
b) doesn't have hygeine issues
c) doesn't expect me to mother them
d) can tidy up after themselves

if I actually have to share a bed with them

e)doesn't mind me stealing the duvet
f) doesn't jerk off in the bed and then not clean up after themselves
g) doesn't eat food in the bed and leave remains of it there
h) Isn't incontinent
i) Realises that sheet cleaning should be more than an actual activity

Have you anyone that fits that criteria?

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

'actual' should be 'annual'

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Well, certainly not me. I don't meet a single one of those criteria.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

don't you find it uncomfortable, sleeping in your own sperm? :p

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Nah, it's like my own personal waterbed.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

Do you stick to your sheets? Do your sheets resemble cardboard?

[davywavy.livejournal.com]

Corrugated.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

nice

[jonnyargles.livejournal.com]

Me either, I always clean up after myself when jerking off. Mel dreads the two and a half minutes of uncomfortable bed-shaking when she's trying to get to sleep followed by a muted "could you pass the tissue, please?"

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

your poor, poor wife

[scarletdemon.livejournal.com]

a) doesn't snore
b) doesn't have hygeine issues
c) doesn't expect me to mother them
d) can tidy up after themselves

These alone have excluded men totally.

[tooth-fairy.livejournal.com]

doh!