davywavy: (getting her drunk)
[personal profile] davywavy
Picture the scene. A romantic evening. A quiet street, late at night. A crisp, frosty evening with the stars shining down upon us. David and a charming lady companion are taking a moonlit stroll before retiring for a nightcap. As we walk, I see an astonishingly stout ginger tomcat (like a oversized, furry rugby ball with legs) waddle out behind us and start to cross the road.

Me (To cat): Oh, hallo, fatso.
Her: What?!
Me: I was talking to the cat!
Her: What cat?
Me (pointing): That one.
Her (Looking round too slowly and missing the cat, who has gone to hide beneath a car): What cat?
Me: There was this big fat ginger cat...it's under a car...you missed it?
Her: Really.
Me: Yes! It's under that car!
Her: Hmmn.
Me (kicking the car tyre to try and get the cat to come out): Yes...this one? Here, kitty? I say, cat? Hallo? Cat?
Her: You know, I don't think I want that drink. I'll think I'll go off to bed. G'night.
Me: No! wait! There's a cat! I wasn't talking about you - I meant..cat...ah, bugger.
Her: Goodnight
Me: Hang on...hold up...I wasn't...
Cat (Who has emerged from under the car and is looking up hopefully, obviously expecting affection or, more likely, food): Mioaw?
Me (To cat): Get stuffed, fatso.
Her (From down the road): I heard that!

Date: 2008-01-14 10:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnommi.livejournal.com
Kismet, Hardy?

Date: 2008-01-14 10:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
My life is non-stop romance.

Date: 2008-01-14 11:12 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
We hear the watersports are very good.

Date: 2008-01-14 11:22 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-01-14 12:08 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Pwned by teh cat.

Date: 2008-01-14 12:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnommi.livejournal.com
well getting pwned by teh pu55y happens to us all

Date: 2008-01-14 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Putting it like that makes him seems much less lame than is the sad fact.

Date: 2008-01-14 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flywingedmonkey.livejournal.com
The old "I was talking to the cat" excuse, eh?
JmC
"God, I hate every single thing about you."
"What?!"
"Uh, puss..."

Date: 2008-01-14 12:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
It's a wonder to me she didn't see it. I mean, the thing was collossal.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-01-14 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Does your cat hide himself at inconvenient moments in a comedy attempt to prevent me getting my oats?
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-01-14 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gnommi.livejournal.com
"...quite frankly anyone's, as long as they feed him."

and I thought that was just MY friends...

Date: 2008-01-14 01:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
Oddly, it describes me pretty well too.

Date: 2008-01-14 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ditzy-pole.livejournal.com
You really should be ashamed of yourself. Blaming it on the cat...

Date: 2008-01-14 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
I blame everything on the cat.

Are you back from distant, uncivilised lands now then?

Date: 2008-01-14 02:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ditzy-pole.livejournal.com
Already settled back in Gaytopia.

Date: 2008-01-14 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
You make it sound so...delightful.

Date: 2008-01-14 02:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ditzy-pole.livejournal.com
I'm having a special way with words today, in that they are failing me.
*sigh*

Date: 2008-01-14 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegreenman.livejournal.com
Mmmm.....Ginger pussy

Date: 2008-01-14 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thegreenman.livejournal.com
And by the way, I love that icon.

Date: 2008-01-15 09:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
It's a photo taken from life, dear boy.

Date: 2008-01-14 05:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] applez.livejournal.com
"Chivalry is dead"

Date: 2008-01-14 10:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rgljr69.livejournal.com
I laughed, I cried, I laughed so hard I cried!

Print it. Sell it. Make a fortune. :-)

Date: 2008-01-15 09:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] davywavy.livejournal.com
It's nice to know that my failures in love can have some practical applications :)
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